Sunday, August 5, 2007

B+

Humility. I am trying to develop some. I think it is about time. I asked what I could change about myself in order to be easier to get along with. And the answer was to see my true self and accept it.

This is very new ground to me. I have always wanted to be smarter than I really am. But I am only "B+" smart. This is enormously difficult to recognize and even harder to accept.

There are some pretty smart people in my family. I love them very much. I wish I was as smart as they are but I just am not. I swear that this has been nagging at me for the whole time I have been here. Oh, by "here" I mean "alive on this earth"--I will go into that subject some other time.

Its OK that I am not as smart or as accomplished as some other people. (Weaknesses: spelling, math and patience) I have to cultivate the talents that I have. What the heck are they? I probably don't even know because I have been so busy trying to be smart. I am not brilliant. I am darn smart but not brilliant. I've got to love myself anyway.

No one loves me less because I am not brilliant. But they may not love me much if I am always trying to prove how smart I am. Smarty-pants, pesto Julie.

So humility. I hope I am using the word right. I better look it up.

Every day in every way I am getting nicer. Affirmation time. Anyone happy about this?

What has prompted this revelation? I am determined to be pleasant to live with and to be pleasant to be around at all. I am going to shut-up and listen now.

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