Sometimes I think there are only split seconds during the day when I am doing something that I want to do. The rest of my time is spent trying to accomplish impossible tasks dreamed up by someone else.
I can never get anything done that I want to do---that is a given. But the really messed up thing is that I can never get anything done that anyone else wants me to do either.
I am the very picture of frustration. Much of this rant is because of work--yes. But the rest of it has to do with home. There is no time for anything fun. There is just work and exhaustion. There is sleep but not enough.
There are things to clean. I have to clean them. I clean them and they are already dirty by the time I'm done cleaning them. Why bother? And its never good enough. Why is that?
Why is what I do not good enough?
So here is the question: Why bother doing anything? Someone will just tell me I can't do it right anyway.
I am. Does anyone have a problem with that??
Can I have a moment? Can I be for a moment? Can I just be, anymore?
I twist myself into some pretty uncomfortable positions being the obligatory me. Why do that here?
For the next little while, I am going to post about what I want to do and be. I am going to write about myself.
Today I am rebellious.
Anyone out there with me on this?