Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Where is my time?

Sometimes I think there are only split seconds during the day when I am doing something that I want to do. The rest of my time is spent trying to accomplish impossible tasks dreamed up by someone else.

I can never get anything done that I want to do---that is a given. But the really messed up thing is that I can never get anything done that anyone else wants me to do either.

I am the very picture of frustration. Much of this rant is because of work--yes. But the rest of it has to do with home. There is no time for anything fun. There is just work and exhaustion. There is sleep but not enough.

There are things to clean. I have to clean them. I clean them and they are already dirty by the time I'm done cleaning them. Why bother? And its never good enough. Why is that?

Why is what I do not good enough?

So here is the question: Why bother doing anything? Someone will just tell me I can't do it right anyway.

I am. Does anyone have a problem with that??

Can I have a moment? Can I be for a moment? Can I just be, anymore?

I twist myself into some pretty uncomfortable positions being the obligatory me. Why do that here?

For the next little while, I am going to post about what I want to do and be. I am going to write about myself.

Today I am rebellious.

Anyone out there with me on this?


Kathy said...

I am completey with you on this!!! Life has been crazy hectic here. I told ken just today that, I miss him, I miss ME & I miss US. It's so very important to make time for yourself!! Hang in there my swell friend, things will turn around!!


Boss said...

Julie i am with you too!
no matter what i do its never good enough, everything is always my fault and why I try to think it will ever be any different???? goodness knows! lol

Julie Welch said...

Hey boss-I can't see your profile--who are you?? Are you bengal boss?

Boss Bengal said...

Hi Julie can you see me now?? yes it is Boss Bengal!! lol

rozsmom said...

I'm sorry, guys. If someone is critical, try to realize it is their problem, not yours. ;-) Your best is all you can do. Lol. We marry them for better or worse. If we get the worse, well .... :/ Just remind them they are not perfect. If they ever feel foolish about making a mistake or having a shortcoming, say, "Cool. Maybe it will make you more merciful with ME if I make mistakes, or do not live up to expectations. No problem" :D