Thursday, October 23, 2008

I miss Shelby and Mariah

I have been writing notes and messages to all the people who have expressed sympathy to me & Dean. These are some of the thoughts I've had.

I wrote this to my friend Chrissine Rios of Chrissine is trying to help me get another little Bengal to go with the one I will be getting from

I still feel Mariah's spirit with me. She was that special cat just for me that set off a whole series of events. I feel Shelby too. She was so quiet and sweet. I keep seeing her in my peripheral vision. She was so much a part of the house. I keep stepping over her in the dark even though she isn't there.

I wrote the following to Bengal Circus on

I am not that strong but I am trying to be strong. I cry at specific times: When I'm in the shower and when I get into bed. Mariah used to sit behind the shower curtain and poke me while I took a shower. Every once in a while she would slide right into the tub and get soaked. So I always think of her in there. She also loved to sleep with me. She always wanted to be tucked under my chin & she'd knead my neck (ouch!). Seamus would try to curl up with me and Mariah would head butt him right out of the way every time. And if Seamus got there before she did, Mariah would sink her little teeth in Seamus' rear end or his neck until he gave up and went away!
Shelby would join us in the morning. She would quietly curl up at about my waist and let out little squeeks when I would scratch her back. She would roar like a cougar at Seamus though. They were territorial about me and the kitten.
So I cry in the shower and and in my bed. But I must bathe and sleep. And for now, cry...sometimes.

I don't want to sleep. But I am so tired.

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